I am huge fan of the Scary Mommy world. For those of you who know nothing about that, if you are a mom, you SHOULD. You can find her here. While pursuing my Scary Mommy world I found another blog, a blog with a section about the six things you shouldn't do if you suffer from postpartum depression. You can find that here. While reading this post I discovered why I can't shake this....I am doing all of these!! My twins are almost 2 (sad) and I still feel like crap most days. I am exhausted and don't want to get out of bed most days. My house is a wreck and my school work is suffering. Not to mention the "I hate being a mom" mentality I have had for the last few days. After reading this blog it mostly makes sense. I still watch scary movies, and I am in a paramedic clas,s so I am discussing horrible things everyday. I procrastinate regularly, (wish I didn't) and I REALLY have an overscheduled life. Mom, student, wife, worker bee. All of which I can never focus on completely and that makes me feel like a failure.
I am trying to make it through this hell that is mental illness. I feel like talking about it helps a little. This blog helps a lot, but I always feel like I on here whining. So I vow to try and stop that. Tomorrow. ;)
So tonight instead of watching CSI or SVU, I will find Glee and Gleek myself out. Instead of procrastinating that kitchen clean up until tomorrow I will do it tonight. And instead of wishing I could just be me again, I will read a book to my little ones and enjoy the cuddle time!
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